Are you a People Pleaser...??

Do you often feel controlled by your need to please others and addicted to their approval?

Are you someone who worries about whether or not others like you? Do you have a hard time saying no to others?

 Does this sound like you? Then you are suffering from “People Pleasing Syndrome’’ also known as “The Disease to Please”.

People-pleasers want everyone around them to be happy and will do whatever is asked of them to keep it that way. They are selfless and always make sure not to hurt anyone around them. It’s actually great. But if you ask me what’s wrong with being a people pleaser, then there are plenty. First of all, People Pleasers sacrifice their own time, sanity and wellbeing in the interest of others. This compassionate habit can hold you back from achieving so much in your life, even turn you into a doormat.

There is actually a line between being kind and pleasing others. By always saying yes to others you are actually saying no to yourself. The reason for these behaviors could actually be rooted from your childhood. When a child faces rejection during early childhood, leaves him feeling inferior and insecure, hence ending in lack of self-esteem. Gradually the child will try to seek acceptance from outside, in order to feel worthy, by starting to please everyone around. Overtime it will become a way of life for him. A deep rooted unconscious habit which is unhealthy for himself. So don’t be a pushover.

One of the deepest of all the human hungers is the need to be understood, cherished and honored. But that clearly doesn’t mean you have to throw yourselves at others. You can’t make everyone happy, which is a universally accepted truth. Your happiness is not dependent on others making you happy. As Oprah Winfrey said “You are the sole person responsible for your life. Nobody else will come and fix it for you”. So be the master of your life.

 

Sometimes all you have got to do is to look yourself in the mirror and embrace the value of yourself. Start by practicing self-love. When you love yourself enough and accept and approve yourself, wonders can happen. Self-love can be an antidote for lack of self-esteem. It’s not selfish to prioritize yourself first. If you are happy then only you can make others genuinely happy.

 Remember one thing “Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you will be criticized anyway”.